yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
