I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
