dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
