If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
