i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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