No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
