garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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