My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
