I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
