there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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