I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
