one might say we're banned from that church
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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