I look better un-naked...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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