Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
