There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
