i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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