i need an iv and a liver transplant
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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