I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
