when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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