Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
