Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
