he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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