some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
