Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
