Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
