I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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