Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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