So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
