Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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