dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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