i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
