He kissed a someone with a penis
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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