Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
