Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
