Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
