STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
