Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
