Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
