I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
