I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
