Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
