I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
