Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
