Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
