So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
