TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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