Nicole vs. Life
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
