did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
