I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
