You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
