Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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